sometimes my feelings smell that's how i know i have to handwash my heart

doubt is crust |

doubt likes me |
i have been sleeping with doubt
doubt cares |

last night someone hit on me, my whole life

 movied inside of me. i was afraid not much 

and then very afraid. 

   i wanted to fall through the place

 i had fallen through in 2004, sometimes

 the place appears on my face. 

when the place is present,

i wasn't into language when i was with him. 

i am not sure how much language i had in me at the time, how much language i lost, how much language has grown back, i wanted to accept the ride the guy had offered,

last night i wanted to go forward, having sex would have meant going forward, having sex would have meant going backward, bringing some guy home would have meant going backward, bringing some guy home would have meant going forward, 

i would like to think that i would have wanted to speak

S I N G 

F E E L

                                                                                                 

for LM

I do have very little to say about the word ‘mothertongue’, the word is probably empty, was born free… In my mothertongue, I was dead.