CHRISTINE HERZER | ARTIST IN RESIDENCE, LA CITE DES ARTS, PARIS, 2012 | TRACES OF
o o o o o
she will have no memory of her absence, she needed that kidnapping
do you like answers?
a few years ago a french boyfriend left me because ‘tu poses trop de questions’. what he didn’t say was that he had been seeing another woman. i met this woman at his birthday party months later. at midnight the lights went out, came back on again, a woman holding a cake with 30 candles walked toward him and he blew out the candles. i knew right then that those two were made for each other. he had introduced her earlier, as a colleague from work, our conversation had been coma-inducing, and I would have never imagined this woman to be of any interest to him. just like Woody Allen in ‘Crimes and Misdemeanors’ failed to recognize that his love interest Mia Farrow would chose Allen Alda over him. i’m interested in consciousness. becoming conscious. that’s everything.
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the boy who couldn't love the girl,
I’m sending works out hoping the viewer will feel less alone and very alone (both). I’ve noticed that most people can’t deal with abundance.
My works demand attention. I hope they offend through reckless devotion.
your own heart?
What happened, the kidnapping,
I don’t cook,
I was going to say ‘someone’
cooked my heart, this someone
didn’t boil it, he
cooked it in simmering range,
had he boiled my heart, I would have noticed the
kidnapping much earlier... I kidnapped my heart
by resenting my own questions. I kidnapped my heart
by resenting my mind.
sometimes my feelings smell that's how i know i have to handwash my heart
doubt is crust |
doubt likes me | i have been sleeping with doubt doubt cares |
last night someone hit on me, my whole life
movied inside of me. i was afraid not much
and then very afraid.
i wanted to fall through the place
i had fallen through in 2004, sometimes
the place appears on my face.
when the place is present,
i wasn't into language when i was with him.
i am not sure how much language i had in me at the time, how much language i lost, how much language has grown back, i wanted to accept the ride the guy had offered,
last night i wanted to go forward, having sex would have meant going forward, having sex would have meant going backward, bringing some guy home would have meant going backward, bringing some guy home would have meant going forward,
i would like to think that i would have wanted to speak
S I N G
F E E L
I do have very little to say about the word ‘mothertongue’, the word is probably empty, was born free… In my mothertongue, I was dead.
WOMAN | like
crazy, loved by
overhears her own desires formless forces taking form (in her)
I DON'T OWN LANGUAGE I NEVER EVEN LIKED LANGUAGE OR GOD LANGUAGE AND GOD WERE TOO FORGIVING FOR MY TASTE LANGUAGE AND GOD NEVER TOOK A STAND I COULDN'T BRING MYSELF TO RESPECT THEM FOR BEING SO AVAILABLE WHO WANTS TO BE LOVED BY SOMEONE WHO ACCEPTS EVERYTHING? I LOST INTEREST RATHER QUICKLY ANYONE CAN OWN LANGUAGE OR GOD I NEVER LOST INTEREST I'M INTERESTED IN WHAT MUST BE CLAIMED THE UNCLAIMED FEMALE BODIES IN ROBERTO BOLANOS 2666 WERE BELIEVED TO BE WHORES AS IF THIS MAKES IT OKAY TO RAPE|MUTILATE|FAIL IN INVESTIGATING VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN AS IF WHORE IS AN IDENTITY LIKE A NATIONALITY WHERE DO YOU COME FROM? I'M A WHORE
__________________----------------__________________--------------------------------------------------------____________________________________________________________ handwash my heart, blurb books, 2012
RED QUESTIONS [TURN ME ON] by christine herzer
(Original work to appear in Vertebrae, a journal of literature and art, Issue II. Published with permission)
How do you keep yourself empty?
What do you want from art?
How old is your sadness?
How do you show affection for your mind?
What have you learnt from watching the moon?
Have you been broken, was it a gift?
What do you keep under your bed?
Have you cut out people from your life?
How long have you gone without showering?
How long have you gone without speaking?
Where do you keep your passport?
Do you resent your heart?
Do you keep a spiritual practice?
How to be with doubt?
What is the texture of doubt?
How often have you watched TITANIC?
Do you know your purpose?
Can we discuss Kafka’s ‘The Hunger Artist’?
How do you understand this sentence by Can Xue “Once one leaves here, one is thoroughly invalidated by history.”?
What’s inside your fridge?
Do you value elegance?
Have you intentionally left behind an object/belongings in a hotel room? Say more…
Do you know your boundaries?
When was the last time you cleaned your bathroom?
When was the last time you saw snow?
What is your idea of fun?
Describe your relationship to floors.
Do you have a pain in someone else?
When was the last time you said I LOVE YOU?
When was the last time someone told you I LOVE YOU?
Tell me about a time when you did not recognize yourself.
What do you tell yourself when you feel ugly?
Do you keep alcohol in your home?
Do you pray?
What do you do with your anger?
What do you perceive as ugly in yourself?
How often do you make meaning?
Do you have contempt for another person? Who?
Describe your relationship with language.
Can language be eaten?
What do you look for in punishment?
Are you free? How do you know?
Does the word ‘Integrity’ feel important to you, and how do you honor it?
Do you believe in choice?
“The body never lies.” Has this been true for you?